I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
