I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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