i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
