I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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