we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
