I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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