How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
