pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
