We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
