I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
