My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
