if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
