Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
