i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
