my vag is so smooth its legendary
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
