at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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