Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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