Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
