well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
