All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
