come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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