haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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