they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
