lets start a swedish sibling band together
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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