For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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