if i can run in heels then i can drive
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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