So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
