My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
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She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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