is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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