marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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