he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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