Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
be right there i have to get my cape
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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