I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I woke up under a house in Key West
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