So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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