in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
