I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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