She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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