I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
