it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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