Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
