We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
