Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
