I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
