youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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