Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
