Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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