Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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