Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
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Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
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Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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