I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
