First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
