Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
