I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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