And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
