Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
