He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
