On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
