It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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