I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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