god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
