Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
